Help! My Neighbor Turned Their Truck Into a Boombox. So I Took Matters Into My Own Hands.

Each week, Prudence asks readers for their thoughts on the letters she’s received. Her reply will be available every Friday only for Slate Plus members.

Re Dire Dog Debacle: I actually enjoy dog noise—I’m weird—but I can’t stand my neighbor blasting their music at three in the afternoon for the umpteenth time. So I had to take matters into my own hands.

I called the non-emergency line on them. Some of us work from home!

What’s infuriating is that they turn their truck on from the driveway, blast music from these gigantic subwoofers—and then they go inside!

Out in the desert, we all do some combination of indoor and outdoor living. But they’re not even near the truck! They just turn the truck on and keep it running with the music up loud enough to be heard inside, like, behind real walls.

A very nice officer came out and persuaded them kindly to turn it down. I could have kissed her.

That’s really bizarre behavior. Glad you were able to resolve it. And “I actually enjoy dog noise” is something I haven’t heard before, even from pet owners!

Re Dire Dog Debacle: There is a very barky dog near me. Her name is Sophie. I know this because when she barks, her owner yells. “Sophie! Shut the fuck up!” I’ve never had a dog, but it seems like an ineffective way to get your dog to stop barking. Then, one of the other neighbours comes out and yells at the dog to shut the fuck up. The owner then yells at him to shut the fuck up. The fucks go flying back and forth for a few minutes while the dog keeps barking. It really classes up the neighbourhood. It’s not nearly as bad as the LW’s situation, but it’s happening right now, and it ticks me off.

Every lease for a home that isn’t on a totally isolated plot of land should come with a pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

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Re A Hairy Situation: My husband also has trichotillomania—his beautiful eyebrows are the scapegoat. The condition is exacerbated under stress (dissertation, theocratic dictatorship and war, inability to see his siblings), and when stressors pass, his eyebrows grow back fully. We keep special gray-ish eyeliners around at home so that he doesn’t invoke “Jump” by Kris Kross. And whenever we forget, it doesn’t bother me as much because he still looks adorable, although it does make me sad to see the physical mark of his anxieties.

Then again, Kris Kross is not Adolph Hitler.

Maybe this wouldn’t feel like a “thing” at all if you hadn’t already noticed it. You made the Hitler connection, and it obviously bothers you. You don’t say so outright, but I wouldn’t blame you if it simply killed the mood romantically—how could it not, since you’ve made the connection?

You do not owe anybody sex. If you are not in the mood, you are not in the mood.

And there are solutions to trichotillomania. My husband sees a therapist and also takes medications, but the compulsion to pick his facial hair still remains. Nonetheless, if everybody with trichotillomania went around with a Hitlerstache, I’d be more sympathetic. Best of luck.

Thanks for giving me a reason to take a walk down memory lane and look up pictures of Kris Kross. I had completely forgotten about the shaved eyebrows.

Re A Hairy Situation: I would divorce my husband if he refused to shave a mustache like that. I would definitely notice someone who was seemingly trying to look like this evil tyrant. Because that’s clearly the direction our country is going in.

Wait a minute, Janet! Are you accusing the husband of picking his mustache into a Hitler shape on purpose?? My mind didn’t even go there. But if the letter writer had similar suspicions, that would definitely explain how disturbed she is.

And I mean, I wouldn’t blame you. I agree about the direction of the country. But that’s why I tend to think that someone who really wanted to honor Hitler at this moment would be a little more explicit about the desire to advance an evil agenda, and find one of the many other available outlets to do so. That said, it’s not that difficult of a thing to fix, so he should address it.

This is about Let Me Mask You a Question. I’m also a high-risk person who is still taking 2020-style precautions on the advice of my medical team. You’re 100 percent right to advise this person to just book the room, for all the reasons you stated … but I really disagree with your advice to lie about their reasoning for doing so. The letter-writer sounded very hurt that their family was so cavalier with their health and safety during the last visit, and I don’t think they want to (or should) just paper over that hurt with excuses!

To me, there are more important things than everyone having a good and stress-free time at a festival. If the LW can’t express genuine feelings of hurt about the fact that their own family was unwilling to take fairly simple precautions (that they agreed to in advance!) for a few days to help them and their partner stay safe, how superficial do those relationships become at that point? And why should the LW have to carry those feelings in silence?

This is a convincing point. And, upon reflection, my response probably reflected my failure to take the letter writer’s interest in avoiding COVID seriously enough. I often give advice to limit contact with family members who are actively, aggressively hateful and mean, so I didn’t want to do so in the case of relatives who are just not as considerate as they could be. But you’re right! Masking isn’t that hard, especially if you care about the person making the request. So, I might say the LW should raise the issue and decide whether to attend the festival based on the response they receive. Because I maintain that a weekend with people who are hurt and annoyed with each other would not be a great time.

Re Let Me Mask You a Question: If it’s affordable and accessible to them, I recommend the LW see a therapist who specializes in chronic illness (read: understands health dangers, respects health needs, and either masks or meets virtually) to gain support. They’re far from alone in this, and they shouldn’t have to feel so alone. In this age of health misinformation, it’s important that we get the truth out there and support those with vulnerable health.

I loved your advice to Just Want to Help. There is nothing worse than being upset about something and being told to “look on the bright side.” There’s a difference between finding light in a dark space and having a friend disregard your struggle and engage in toxic positivity. If your house burns down, you don’t want to hear “that other family also lost their cat, so you got lucky,” You want to hear, I’M SORRY YOUR HOUSE BURNT DOWN. THIS SUCKS.

—Misery Does Love Company!

Yeah, I don’t think “look on the bright side” has ever actually helped anyone feel better. If the person thought that way, they wouldn’t be depressed!

My husband and I are in our 30s, have been married for more than a decade, and have one child. My husband is smart and successful. He’s fun-loving, outgoing, supportive of my career, incredibly helpful around the house, generous, enjoys taking me shopping, and is generally an all-out nice guy. However, he often bores me intellectually.