I Was Recently Promoted. Now My Coworker Is Spreading a Terrible Rumor About Me.

Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!)

I just got a promotion at work and I am thrilled. I busted my ass for years, and now things are really starting to fall into place for me in terms of advancing in my profession. There is one problem, however. A woman at my office, “Sandy,” has always been jealous of me and now she’s spread a vicious rumor about me—and about half the company believes her!

She is saying that the only reason I was promoted is because I slept with the company president! What am I supposed to do here?

First, congrats on your promotion! But what a bummer that someone in your office is trying to take the wind out of your sails (and people for some reason seem to believe her). I would confront Sandy directly and tell her that you know she’s been spreading rumors about you and it not only needs to stop, but she needs to tell everyone that she made it up. Important: do this in writing so that you have it documented, whether she responds or not. Because what she’s doing is called workplace defamation—specifically slander, which is when the defamation is spoken (not to be confused with libel, which is when it’s written)—and it’s something that employers should take very seriously because you have grounds here for a lawsuit, especially if you can show that you were adversely affected by her rumormongering. If she does not retract her obvious lie, this is when you go to HR and let them know what’s been going on. You don’t have to threaten them with legal action (yet…), but I would make it clear that you are aware of your rights here. If they don’t do anything, then it may be time to speak to an attorney. This kind of gossip wasn’t OK in high school and it’s certainly not OK now. I’m so sorry that this woman has ruined what should have been an exciting and meaningful moment for you, and I hope that your workplace will respond appropriately.

It’s been almost eight months since my wife passed away, and I am finally starting to feel that maybe I am not going to die when I wake up and she isn’t there. We were married for just over 10 years, and she had two children from a prior marriage who are now grown. We had no children together, but I had the privilege of being part of her children’s lives. Her son lives across the country. Her daughter lives near me and has been a constant companion through my grieving, spending most Sundays at my house since her mother’s passing. My wife was significantly older than me, and my stepdaughter is only five years younger than I am. This past weekend we were getting ready to have dinner, and she told me she was starting to have romantic feelings for me.