One of Our Colleagues Abruptly Left the Company. Then Their “Allegations” Began to Pop Up Online.
Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s anonymous!)
A former colleague of several years left the company after a Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) period. They cut off access and conversation with pretty much everyone they had worked with, disappeared, and then put in their notice. A lot of people, especially on their team, were confused and hurt (they were really close), but everyone felt like it might be for the best. They eventually got a new job and seemed to be flourishing, until that ended and all the accusations came out.
They are very publicly (tagging major organizations, including our workplace) accusing people of discrimination, alleging affairs with managers, and claiming general misconduct on the part of pretty much everyone.
I feel horrible for everyone who is being targeted. And yes, I say targeted because I don’t believe what they are saying. They had initially blocked everyone from every single social media platform (don’t be friends with co-workers). Then, before the announcement of allegations, they sent everyone a message saying, “I’m baaaaaaack.” I think they are in a mental health spiral, and have been for some time. They had lashed out at me at work, so I told my manager, and we both agreed that some space was a good idea. Looking back, that was the start of it all.
I have blocked this person; they continue to post and try to “out” and “shame” people individually. It’s all been escalated and reported, but nothing seems to be changing. Beyond blocking them, is there anything else to be done? At the end of the day, I hope they get the clear help they need, versus writing endless messages on social media that no one comments on or likes.
—Wishing You the Best But Please Do It Privately
Dear Wishing You the Best But Please Do It Privately,
Oof. It’s distressing to watch someone spiral, especially when they’re dragging your colleagues into it and performing for an audience on social media. People who witness the performance probably recognize that your former colleague is unwell and know not to engage with their posts, judging from the lack of comments and likes. There’s not much you can do as a former co-worker, especially since they’ve lashed out at you in the past. It’s up to people who are still close to them in real life to help.
You can help some of the people you know who are being accused of misbehavior. They probably know about the posts, but alert them just in case, so they can protect themselves by blocking and using any other safety tools on their social media platforms. Offer your condolences and assure them that it’s clear the former co-worker is troubled. And please don’t blame yourself. Your interaction with this co-worker may seem like “the start of it all” from your perspective, but mental health spirals don’t have one cause, and there were likely other conflicts you weren’t aware of.
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