My Husband Thinks Something Terrible Is Happening to His Penis. This Man Needs Help.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
Dear How to Do It,
My husband and I are in our late 40s, and for the last several months, he has developed an obsession that is starting to drive me insane. It all started when he decided to measure his penis.
He is now absolutely convinced it’s is shrinking. He has measured it at least half a dozen times a day and is recording the results. There have been instances where it has been slightly shorter than others, and it sends him into a near-panic. Now he is looking into dick lengthening procedures. None of my assurances that I am perfectly satisfied with him in bed have done anything to allay his fears. I don’t want to seem unsupportive, but I am fed up with his fixation. Any suggestions?
This part of your letter is so telling: “None of my assurances that I am perfectly satisfied with him in bed have done anything to allay his fears.” Your words are not going to make this OK. He needs to find some kind of solace within.
It can be difficult to resist absorbing the preoccupations of a partner, but I think it’s reasonable to distance yourself here. Chalk this up to a quirk or undesirable habit or hobby even and ask that he do his incessant measuring in private. This is his journey and you shouldn’t get in his way, but at the same time, you don’t have to be a part of it. Any decisions he would make about spending money on an operation, though, should be made in coordination with you, assuming you share finances.
The fact is that some penises do shrink with age, for a variety of factors like high blood pressure. Less blood flow can mean there’s less in the dick to keep it plump. They can also shift in size due to circumstance (“shrinkage” in response to cold conditions) and erections may range in size, as well, depending on how hard they do or don’t get. One non-surgical intervention thing you could suggest is that he take tadalafil (generic Cialis), which can give even a soft dick a longer, fuller appearance. That Cialis hang can be an ego boost and it might help him cope. Some guys wrap up a lot of their ego in their penis size, and here’s a way to potentially boost at least soft size (though, with the added blood flow, a PDE5 inhibitor can make an erect penis look longer, too as it can stretch it to max capacity). Plus, tadalafil seems to have health benefits that go beyond erection quality. A low daily dose (2.5 to 5 mg) is often well tolerated and seems to only have positive effects on many who take it. It’s affordable and easy to get prescribed. Well worth looking into given the circumstances.
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