My Daughter and Her Husband Just Stayed Over. Uh, They Left Something Scandalous Behind.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My daughter and her husband just returned home after spending the Thanksgiving holiday with her dad and me.

The problem is that when I was changing the sheets in the guest room, a cock ring fell on the floor. Should I simply get rid of it and pretend I never saw it? Call my daughter and tell her what I found? I know if my mother had ever come across anything like that and said anything to me about it, I would have died of embarrassment. How should I approach this?

Let’s navigate this via your motherly empathy and intuition. If you suspect your daughter would be mortified were you to share your inter-sheets discovery, don’t do it. Let her come to you. A cockring is small enough that it’s not going to be a burden to store—it can go in a junk drawer in the guest room or, if you want to be so discreet so that no one else in your residence might casually see it when searching for a highlighter or AA battery, keep it with your underwear. Wait to hear from your daughter. While some cockrings can be pricey (especially if they are metallic), many are not. They’re the kind of accessories that many can easily afford to replace. Your daughter and husband will likely buy a new one (or just use another they already have). But in case it was expensive or has some kind of sentimental value, holding on to it will allow your daughter to retrieve it. She and her husband likely know exactly where they left it if they’ve noticed its absence. They might even rummage through the guest room next time they’re in town in an attempt to quietly locate it. If it’s important enough to remain in her life, she will work up the nerve.

Give them an extended amount of time to come around asking for the cockring. To be safe, say until next Thanksgiving. Then, you can get rid of it or (after sterilizing/cleaning it), keep it for yourself, should you find it useful. Consider it an early Christmas present. Happy holidays.

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