Colts’ Charvarius Ward Sr. opens up about daughter’s death: ‘I’m trying to live through her’

Colts cornerback Charvarius Ward Sr., consoled by Texans linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair, acknowledges his head and heart weren't into football last season. Todd Rosenberg / Getty Images

INDIANAPOLIS — Charvarius Ward Sr. wanted to quit.

Before he suffered three concussions last season. Before he even played a game for the Indianapolis Colts. Before he had a chance to truly grieve.

Ward had recently signed a three-year, $54 million deal to join the Colts, marking the second massive contract for a cornerback who went undrafted in 2018. It was supposed to be a triumphant moment in an underdog career, but when training camp rolled around in July 2025, Ward’s head wasn’t in it. His heart wasn’t, either.

Less than nine months removed from the death of his 23-month-old daughter, Amani Joy, Ward thought he’d found some semblance of normalcy, if that was even possible. It wasn’t.

Ward, who contemplated retiring earlier this year, said Wednesday at Colts spring practice that he feels “whole and happy” again after “getting closer to God” this offseason. The work he’s put in to navigate his grief has helped him use his daughter’s death as a source of inspiration more than pain.

That wasn’t possible last year.

“I tried to tough it out, man,” Ward said Wednesday. “Mentally and emotionally … it had got real hard for me in training camp. I had some rough moments in camp. I was having those thoughts like, ‘Man, I don’t know if I can do it.'”

Amani Joy died due to heart issues in October 2024, when Ward was still a member of the San Francisco 49ers. After signing with the Colts the following offseason, Ward said in his introductory news conference that returning to San Francisco was never really an option in free agency because there was “a lot of PTSD out there.”

He joined the Colts looking for a fresh start, but his 2025 season turned out to be a nightmare on and off the field. Ward, still grieving the loss of his daughter, suffered three concussions in 14 weeks. The scariest one occurred when Ward and Colts tight end Drew Ogletree accidentally collided during pregame warmups last October. Ward, who was not wearing a helmet, got knocked out on the field. He regained consciousness when he was being taken away in a wheelchair and spent the next month “getting dizzy” and vomiting.

Ward played in a career-low seven games last season because of his repeated concussions, and at the end of the season, he made it clear he didn’t need football anymore. He’d already played in three Super Bowls — winning it all with the Kansas City Chiefs during the 2019 season — been named second-team All-Pro in 2023 and earned $68.8 million in the NFL, per Spotrac.

“I did everything I wanted to do,” Ward said in January. “So, I feel like if I walk away, I won’t regret it.”

A few lifestyle changes, however, have rekindled Ward’s desire to dominate on the gridiron. He’s talked to professional therapists and hired a mental health coach to help him better process the unfillable void left by his daughter.

“I kind of want to play for my daughter, too,” Ward said. “It’s kind of been like a real sore subject for me ever since it happened. Every time I thought about it, I got sad. But now, I think about her, I have a lot of good memories about her. … The man that she made me. She always put a smile on my face. So I’m trying to live through her in my life in general, not just football.”

Ward also moved his fiancee, Monique Cook, and their 17-month-old son, Charvarius Ward Jr., to Indianapolis so they can all be together for his second season with the Colts. Last year, Cook and their son stayed in Dallas near the rest of their family. Ward believes that was a mistake, leaving him feeling isolated, and he’s thrilled to spend more time with those he loves the most. He specifically credited his son for putting “some light back” into his life as he returns to the field.

On paper, the Colts are poised to have one of the best cornerback tandems in the NFL with Ward and two-time first-team All-Pro Sauce Gardner. The duo played only one full game together after Gardner joined the Colts via trade last season because of Ward’s repeated concussions and Gardner’s calf injury. But Ward, who said he’ll consider wearing a Guardian Cap, is optimistic that his concussion issues are firmly in his rearview mirror.

Amani Joy, of course, can’t be put in the past. She will remain top of mind while Ward fights to regain his All-Pro form.

“Obviously, I want to leave the game in one piece, too, because those concussions, that was kind of crazy last year,” Ward said. “But I want to finish the game as one of the best corners in the game. … I know I can be that, so I’m grinding harder than I ever grinded right now.

“I got the motivation back to be one of the best in the world.”

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